There is, in my opinion, a crisis of decorum at America's mahjong tables. Not everywhere—some circles maintain admirable standards—but I have witnessed, firsthand, a disturbing number of etiquette violations that go unaddressed. As both a player and an attorney, I believe in rules. Rules govern behavior. Behavior reflects character. And character, ultimately, is what separates a true mahjong gentleman from someone who merely pushes tiles around.

What follows is my personal code of mahjong etiquette. I have developed this over six years of play, drawing on my own observations, the example of players I respect, and a general principle that I believe applies to all social activities: treat the game, and the people you play it with, as though they matter.

On Table Conduct

1. Arrive on time. If the game starts at 7:00, you should be setting up your rack at 6:55. Arriving at 7:15 and expecting three people to wait for you while you chat about your day is disrespectful. I understand that life happens. But chronic lateness is a character flaw. Address it.

2. Keep personal items off the table. Keys, phones, mail—these do not belong on the mahjong table. The table is for tiles, racks, and scoring implements. I have played across from people who arrive with a stack of unread mail and sort it between hands. This is unacceptable.

3. Do not comment on another player's speed of play. Some players think quickly. Some need more time. Unless someone is deliberately stalling (which is a separate issue, and one I have opinions about), they are entitled to use the time they need. I have heard players say things like "Come on, it's not that hard" or "Do you need a map?" This is not acceptable. It is also, I suspect, often said by players whose own rapid decision-making leads to poor results.

On Discarding

4. Name your discard clearly. When you discard a tile, you should state what it is. "Five-dot." "Red dragon." "Four-bam." This is not optional. The other players are entitled to know what was discarded without having to lean over and squint at the tile. I have played with people who discard silently or mumble the name. I ask them to repeat themselves. Every time. They learn.

5. Do not "feel" a discard. Some players, when uncertain about a discard, will pick up a tile, set it down, pick up another tile, set it down, pick the first tile back up, and then finally play it. This is maddening. Pick a tile and play it. If you change your mind after the tile has touched the discard area, that is a committed discard. The rules are clear on this, and the etiquette should be as well.

6. Do not rearrange the discard pile. The discard pile is a record. It is, for strategic purposes, a document. You are not permitted to rearrange, consolidate, or otherwise manipulate the discard pile to suit your preferences. I have seen players push discards into neat piles or spread them out "so everyone can see." Do not touch the discard pile unless you are claiming a tile from it, and even then, touch only the tile you are claiming.

On Calling Tiles

7. "Call" means speak, not gesture. When you wish to claim a discarded tile, the proper method is a verbal call: "Call," "I'll take that," or simply stating the tile name. A hand gesture (reaching for the tile, pointing at it, or making a grabbing motion) is NOT a call. I have seen disputes arise from this, and the verbal standard should be universally adopted. It's cleaner, it's unambiguous, and it's what the rules require.

8. Do not call and then change your mind. Once you have verbally called a tile, you are committed. There is no "take-back" in mahjong. I know that in casual play, people sometimes extend this courtesy. I choose not to. Once the word is spoken, the action is taken. Language matters.

On Winning

9. Declare mahjong clearly and with dignity. When you complete your hand, place your tiles on the rack and state "Mahjong." That's it. You do not need to celebrate. You do not need to announce the hand type. You do not need to look at your opponents and make a face. Mahjong is a declaration, not a performance.

10. Conversely, accept defeat with grace. When someone else declares mahjong, do not groan, do not throw your tiles, and do not say "I was one tile away." Congratulations are appropriate. A simple "Well played" or "Nice hand" is sufficient. I know losing is frustrating. I lose. Everyone loses. How you handle it says more about you than the loss itself.

On Snacks

11. Snacks should be quiet and non-greasy. This will be controversial. I am aware that many mahjong circles have a tradition of elaborate snack spreads. I am not here to take that away. I am here to advocate for snacks that do not interfere with play. Specifically:

  • No greasy foods that leave residue on the fingers (and therefore on the tiles)
  • No crunching during another player's turn (this is a courtesy issue that I feel strongly about)
  • No foods with strong odors that might be distracting
  • Cheese cubes are acceptable. Pretzels are marginal. Anything with dipping sauce is a hard no.

I have been told this section is "too much." I disagree. A game environment should be controlled. The tiles deserve respect. The players deserve focus. And there is nothing more distracting than someone crunching a celery stick while you're trying to decide whether to call a seven-crak.

On Language

12. Keep it clean. This may seem old-fashioned. I do not care. Mahjong is a social activity, and social activities benefit from a baseline level of civility. I will not use profanity at the table. I will not make comments that are personal, derogatory, or passive-aggressive. And I expect the same from people I play with.

I am not saying the table should be silent. Conversation is part of the experience. But the conversation should be appropriate to the setting. You can disagree with a call. You can express frustration about a bad draw. But direct your frustration at the tiles, not at the person who drew them.

One Final Rule

13. Do not talk about mahjong strategy during a game of mahjong. This may seem counterintuitive coming from someone who runs a mahjong blog. But there is a time and a place. The blog is for discussion. The game is for playing. If you are explaining a hand type to another player in the middle of a game, you are not playing mahjong. You are holding a seminar. The other players did not sign up for a seminar.

I enforce this rule at my table. Gently, but firmly.

— Bob Loblaw, Attorney at Tiles